Editor's note: This story is part of a project on child sexual abuse reported over the last year.
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LONG PRAIRIE — Wind rustled through prairie grass, corn stalks and rust-colored oaks on William Dinkel's hunting land on a sunny morning in October.
He woke at 5:30 a.m. to wait for deer in a cold tree.
The time that Dinkel — known as Billy — spends outside is sacred. It's what he lives for.
And yet, around the corner from Billy's 80 acres of paradise sit two farmsteads where he says he experienced such severe trauma as a child that he must reckon with it every day.
He's 51 now. And the sexual abuse he says he endured in the late 1970s, between the ages of 8 and 13, still haunts him.
Billy bought his land in Long Prairie with guidance from his father, because he loves to hunt. It was also a way to be close to family.
"The reality is I might have been keeping myself close to a lot of pain, a lot of memories," Billy said while reflecting that October morning, the sun catching his pale green eyes. "I want to pretend that everything is OK. But it can't be."
Billy told his story to the St. Cloud Times to help himself heal and to help prevent the sexual abuse of other children.
Billy's story shows that sexual abuse can happen within well-respected families; his sister and brother-in-law served in the Minnesota Legislature. His story shows that sexual abuse can happen over and over again when left unchecked.
Billy met or talked by phone with Times' journalists more than five times in the last year. Reporters examined court records and interviewed Billy's therapist, wife and many experts in an attempt to corroborate his story. One of his brothers provided a limited interview to the Times, three siblings declined to speak on the record, two other relatives (nephews) declined to comment and several others did not respond to the Times.
No one contradicted Billy's story of sexual abuse, nor would anyone comment on the record about who may have known of the abuse as it happened.
The details of his trauma were difficult for Billy to share, and he said his nightmares increased after he recounted memories of abuse.
But he wants to talk about it. Because Billy believes silence and shame allowed his perpetrator to target him for five years.
"It's the silence that keeps it going," Billy said.
Some victims of child sexual abuse never break their silence, even though an estimated one in four women experienced child sexual abuse and one in six men have.
Read Billy's full story, dig into how communities can prevent abuse and learn about avenues for justice for victims.
Support local journalism. Subscribe to sctimes.com today.
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