Joey Gallo thinks Drew Robinson’s suicide survival story can help those struggling with mental health (and - The Dallas Morning News

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They were more than just teammates. Friends, for sure. Roommates, on occasion. Cyber chat buddies, always, through a running Snapchat group thread.

Which is where Joey Gallo instinctively went last April after he got the phone call from one buddy, Ryan Rua, telling him that the other member of their trio, former Ranger-turned-San Francisco Giant Drew Robinson had shot himself in the temple in an attempted, but unsuccessful, suicide.

The conversation couldn’t provide any answers.

The words had already vanished.

“I was in tears, hysterically crying,” Gallo said this week after Robinson shared his story with ESPN and in the documentary “Alive.” “We almost like it was our fault. We felt like we weren’t there when he needed it. I was shocked, but there was also a part of me that was like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe somebody actually went and did it’.”

His point being: Mental health is fragile; baseball is largely rooted in failure. When the two are combined, it can create a volatile, lethal mix.

Robinson miraculously survived. He’s lost the use of his right eye but remains determined to try to resume a professional baseball career that began as a Rangers’ fourth-round draft pick in 2010. Whenever minor leaguers report, he will join the Giants’ prospects committed to returning to the majors. But with an entirely new purpose: Bringing advocacy to mental health, in society in general, in baseball in particular.

“I don’t know how I could experience what I did and not work to shine a light on how beautiful life is,” Robinson said last week over the phone from his home in Las Vegas between a workout and a therapy session. “I guess, yeah, you would label it as a calling. It felt so obvious to me. It wouldn’t go away. I tried to put it away for a while, but it just wouldn’t go away. It was so powerful.”

Struggling with failure

05:22 PM -- Nearly 12 hours after he arrived at the complex, Texas Rangers infielder/outfielder Drew Robinson ends his workday after a spring training baseball game on Monday, Feb. 26, 2018, in Surprise, Ariz. (Smiley N. Pool / Staff Photographer)

In meticulous and unsettling detail, the ESPN story by Jeff Passan, lays out what were supposed to be the final hours of Robinson’s life, from putting peanut butter on a cinnamon raisin bagel to the note he would leave to a final swig of whiskey.

But, up until those final hours, he’d been texting with Rua and Gallo, among others. Nothing seemed wrong. It wasn’t until more than 24 hours later, after Robinson called 911 to report his own attempted suicide that Gallo and Rua and the rest of the close circle of friends became aware of what happened.

Rua, who was out of baseball for a second year in 2020, and Robinson had become extremely close while with the Rangers. Like Robinson, Rua had struggled with inconsistent play and the persistent shuttling that goes along with being at the end of a roster. They had shared conversations about the depression that often accompanied those circumstances.

“We didn’t grasp how to handle the failure,” Rua said. “You’d play, you wouldn’t succeed, and then you’d sit for three days thinking about it and it just kept adding up. In the documentary, Drew says it really well, when he’s talking about thinking about the way he’s sitting in the clubhouse and if he’s doing that right. I worried more about what other people thought.”

Robinson shared a home with Gallo at the start of the 2018 season, when he made the opening day roster. That was the high point. Two weeks into the season, in Houston, he struck out in four consecutive at-bats and made a game-changing error.

“He was almost crying, talking about the ups and downs of the game,” Gallo said. “It’s a fragile sport. And it’s hard to talk about things. But we are very similar. We take the game very seriously.

“In that moment, you really feel like you have nothing going for you,” Gallo said. “There was a point where I thought when I wasn’t playing well, my life sucked. Everything revolved around it. It’s all you wanted to do. And there is a really, really dark side when it doesn’t go well.”

Said Robinson: “There were times I was so displeased with myself, I despised myself.”

“It’s OK to not be OK...”

Texas Rangers third baseman Drew Robinson (18) is pictured during the Houston Astros vs. the Texas Rangers major league baseball game at Globe Life Park in Arlington, Texas on Wednesday, September 27, 2017.(Louis DeLuca / Staff Photographer)

Drew Robinson doesn’t blame the Rangers or baseball for what happened last April.

The issues extended beyond the game.

In fact, if anything, he said, the Rangers and MLB teams have taken steps to address mental health in the game by making EAP counselors available and with proactive staff.

“I knew we needed to talk about it,” Robinson said of the organized efforts to address mental health. “But I would kind of roll my eyes. I was so closed off. There were plenty of resources available to me, but I didn’t want to inconvenience anybody. I felt like ‘If I have [issues], they have them, too, and the last thing they need is to be burdened by somebody else.’

“Players get numb to these things,” he said. “That’s why it’s important to find a way to share the message: It’s OK to not be OK, rather than pretend that it is not there.”

This is Drew Robinson’s new purpose.

And the message is starting to get through.

“I’ve thought a lot more about mental health,” Gallo said. “I get emotional talking about it. It’s serious stuff. I think Drew’s story is going to help a lot of people.”

Lifelines of support

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 24-hour crisis hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Confidential online chat is available at suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Crisis Text Line: 24-hour support by texting HOME to 741741. More information at crisistextline.org

North Texas Behavioral Health Authority: 24-hour crisis hotline at 1-866-260-8000 or go to ntbha.org

Suicide and Crisis Center of North Texas: Speak to a trained counselor on the 24-hour hotline at 214-828-1000 or 800-273-8255 or go to sccenter.org

Here For Texas Mental Health Navigation Line: Grant Halliburton Foundation initiative that connects North Texans with mental-health resources customized to each caller at 972-525-8181 or go to HereForTexas.com

Dallas Metrocare Services: For help, call 1-877-283-2121 or go to metrocareservices.org

Find more Rangers coverage from The Dallas Morning News here.

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