Influencer Dad Denied IVF by Insurance Company Tells Twins Their Birth Story in Children's Book (Exclusive) - PEOPLE

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Like so many people on the journey to parenthood today, Adam Motz's road wasn't linear.

The Chicago attorney and husband Tee Lam talked about starting a family early in their relationship, with Lam posing the inquiry as a make-or-break situation. Now married with twin daughters — Reve and Sky, 19 months — Motz tells PEOPLE about how they're sharing their family's story to help other families, in and beyond the LGBTQ+ community.

"Right after we got married, it was like, 'Let's start this whole process,' because we knew we wanted to try in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and surrogacy and that that was probably going to take a bit of time," Motz tells PEOPLE. "So basically right after we got married, we started the whole process."

To start their family, Motz and Lam — who share parts of their lives across social media as "2 Dads 2 Twins" — brought together some close friends, both believing it was "really amazing and beautiful that we are connected to these people already."

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'You Came From Love' book cover. Motz Books, an imprint of Gatekeeper Press

"The egg donor was my childhood friend. We're still very close friends. And the gestational carrier is Tee's really close friend, so the fact that we knew the people who were carrying our children was amazing. And it was actually, I think exactly how we wanted it to be."

"Now we sort of have a bond that we already shared that's even deeper now, and we're all connected," Motz continues. "Our egg donor is the same donor for both kids. The kids are related to each other. They're related to each of us by blood. They have all of these parts that are intertwining, and they shared a womb which brings them an even closer bond."

Motz and Lam enjoy seeing the twins interact with the two women who made their lives possible.

"It's really cool every time Amy, who's the egg donor, every time she's with them. It's just amazing to watch them together because the kids sort of — you can sense this sort of natural draw. It's hard to explain," he says. "The same with the surrogate. Ayah. When she came for their birthday, there was this sort of like 'Where have you been?' We've known you this whole time and now we're meeting.' It's just, it's very natural. It's very easy. It's loving."

Motz says that having this blend of people come together continuously has been "really meaningful," explaining, "Because these kids are going to have questions about their creation."

"That's why I wrote the book, and so the fact that we're able to have these women involved in their lives going forward, I think it's going to be really beneficial for the kids," he notes.

Motz's children's book, You Come From Love, is penned by him and began as a stream of thought that was shaped into a poem. The picture book is illustrated by Jordan Aspiras.

"I wrote the book shortly after we found out that our embryo transfer was successful, so we knew the surrogate was pregnant. And there was a day, I was sitting at our kitchen table and just sort of letting my mind wander daydreaming about what these kids are going to be like. I was thinking about all the million questions, they're going to be asking us and just thinking about my answers to those questions," he recalls.

"The lawyer in me, I try to have an answer ready for every question but one of the big ones that I thought, they're probably going to ask is, 'Where do we come from? How did we get here?'"

"Beyond the medical science that enabled their creation. I wanted them to understand first and foremost, that they come from love. And I also wanted them to understand that love means all of these different things that come together to make you who you are. It's god, it's the universe, it's your family, your ancestors — each of these things."

Accessing that medical science wasn't easy for the couple, who had to sue their insurance company for discrimination when they learned the process of IVF and surrogacy wouldn't be covered the way it would for a cishet couple.

"That was probably the biggest challenge during the pregnancy, something that we weren't necessarily expecting to have to deal with. We ended up filing a discrimination complaint against them," he explains to PEOPLE. "We fought our battle against them and then they ultimately ended up settling with us for what we were asking for from the beginning, which was just to cover the medical expenses that they should have covered and that they covered for any other couple."

"We're hoping that the increased awareness of this is going to push lawmakers to further enhance protections," Motz continues. "It's going to hopefully push insurance companies to just like treat people the right way. I have friends who are going through IVF right now and they've had their own issues with insurance companies, gay and straight. Then we've definitely heard from a lot of families who've gone through similar issues."

Motz is proud that the books can be a "jumping-off point for further conversation" about any of these subjects.

"I wrote it down and it became this sort of poem for them, and then I thought, 'This would be really cool if they had it as a book.' My plan was to just print this book for them to have my friends in church illustrate it, but once the book was finished, it felt like a pretty universal message that works for just about any family, whether you're a traditional family that didn't have fertility issues or whether you're an LGBTQ family."

Motz adds, "And it's something that I'm excited to share with the kids. We've already shared it with them and they really liked it, as they grow and they're better able to understand things. Just being able to have those conversations with them because our plan is to share things with them in age-appropriate ways, and this is one tool that we can use in that process."

Motz hopes that families start understanding and accepting all the ways other families come together. "I think it's been good for LGBTQ families to see us have these kids and be successful with it. And for people who maybe weren't sure or had questions about LGBTQ people raising kids, they're seeing what that looks like and realizing it's just like any other family."

"There's just as much value in our family as there is in any other family. We're really grateful for the opportunity, to the extent that we can, to educate people and show people something that might be different than what they've always considered as the norm, to hopefully shift people's worldviews in a more positive open and affirming direction."

You Come From Love is now available in stores and online.

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Influencer Dad Denied IVF by Insurance Company Tells Twins Their Birth Story in Children's Book (Exclusive) - PEOPLE
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